The time is drawing near - seven days to be exact - until a lot of firsts for Amanda. First time being seen dressed by anyone other than one person (not counting pics), first time being in public, and first time with multiple days (2 or 3) as Amanda - I've never actually spent one full day to be honest.
The recurring theme I keep returning to is balance. The yin and the yang. The female and the male. The long weekend represents an opportunity for some balance that so rarely happens. And it will be balance. I've found in the recent past when I've had opportunities to dress that I need to balance it with some guy time. And that's what I'll do over this long weekend. After Amanda time, there will be some guy time - doing a guy thing. That guy thing is my other great escape from the concrete jungle and from life in general - camping and hiking in the woods. I'll do that at least one night - possibly two. And when I return I hope to feel the balance I need. At least for a little while.
When you're younger, you lack money (and you often lack self-acceptance). As you get older, you lack time (and often the body use once had as well). I've gotten older - gotten married, have young kids, have a very consuming career. So my constraint has been time. This coming weekend that constraint will be temporarily lifted. I hope that gives me more time to reflect and write on my experiences as they are fresh. Some of that reflection will be sitting somewhere nice and comfortable in a dress and heels. Some will be sitting by a campfire in jeans and hiking boots. They are both sides of me, and this coming weekend, I get to gain some insight on the right balance between them. I'm nervous, I'm scared, I'm excited, but most of all I'm looking forward to discovering more about myself and more about my yin and yang balance. It will be interesting to say the least!
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